DATING CULTURE IS F*CKED

So how about we start off by addressing the elephant in the room shall we? If this class represented my texting etiquette, you all would have cut me off and deleted my number by now. Following our very first class together [Just Get Away] I already went ghost for 9 weeks. I promise that will not happen again moving forward – at least not for that long.

Let’s jump right into this bitch without wasting any time… WHAT THE HELL ARE WE REALLY DOING WITH THIS DATING SHIT THESE DAYS? It’s a vicious hamster wheel that none of us can seem to escape. With the exception of that random friend we all have who got married to their soulmate right out of high school – congrats you happy bitches. As for the rest of us, this shit is confusing as hell. You’re damned if you do. You’re damned if you don’t. Let me quickly take you through the process I repeatedly find myself in.

"THE SPARK"

The benefit of being a very social and likable person is that I don’t find it difficult at all to meet new people. I have also developed the ability to read a person after only few minutes of talking to them – it doesn’t take long for me to wrap up useless conversation. Now for the interesting people out there, those conversations have all the potential to lead to many other things. Obviously attraction comes first, then the conversation, then the connection, then the questions.

"THE QUESTIONS"

Now that I have confirmed my physical and intellectual interest in a particular person, the next thing I must do is pull out the blueprints of this new acquired interaction. Is this someone I can actually see myself being with? Is this someone I just want to have sex with and share good conversation? Or is this someone I solely want to be friends (actual platonic friends) with? Realistically, those are the only categories I use for someone I’m interested in. I feel it makes things more simplified and prevents me from leading someone on.

"THE CONFUSION"

This section is where it gets rather messy. The category you put a particular person in, may not be the category they wish to fall under. How do you deal with this? Well first of all… YOU NEED TO FUCKING TELL THEM! People can’t read minds – I don’t believe that will ever be possible. If you feel a certain way about someone, or if you become aware that a person feels a certain way about you… YOU NEED TO COMMUNICATE. People need to understand that “seeing how things go” is not a direction. If I put you in a category where I only want sex and some good laughs, but you put me in a category where you see yourself marrying me… WE NEED TO HAVE A DISCUSSION. We will both leave that conversation with clarity, and probably will stop wasting each other’s time from that point on.

"THE END"

So now it’s over – whatever it was. Do you go back out there and try again? Yes. Yes you do. However, you don’t toss yourself at every breathing thing that gives you attention – what you do is assess yourself, your needs and requirements, and make a judgement call. Someone may pass your test and have everything you believe you’re looking for, and still not be right for you. Every interaction you engage in will be a form of trial and error. If you can’t deal with that realism, then just don’t talk to people. You will make mistakes – lots of them. The goal is not to avoid making mistakes, but to never make the same mistake twice.